Housewives. Real and ABC

Dear Kate (still my only reader), 

This week, the Wisteria Lane Housewives came back. And I have to say, I was not impressed. They left us hanging on some serious cliffs last May, so I was expecting a cracked out, all explosive episode...plane crash or tornado episodes anyone? But, to me it was just lame. Although they did bring back Felicia Tilman who always gives me the heebeejeebees, and really did this week when they kept showing her 3-fingered hand. But that was the only exciting part. I am not happy with where Susan and Mike's story line is going. Lynette's kind of lame. Gabby and Carlos are headed into very dangerous territory. And Bree, well, I miss Orson, but the BAG story could be good. 

Then there's the Real Housewives...We see Orange County wives filing domestic dispute cases. New Jersey hubbies are going to jail for 10 days and oh yeah, they have a crackhead running around. DC has people breaking into State Dinners. New York has people saying that they are quitting, then turn around and are on the show. And then there's Atlanta which is just always crazy. I haven't watched Bev Hills, but that's got Fraiser's ex wife so that has to have dirt on my favorite radio psychatrist.

I'm a fan of the Housewives series, well excluding Atlanta, DC I really think I would enjoy, and I could do without NY, but I think they are trying to take over too much territory. For example, you already have OC, must you need Beverly Hills? What about a Real Housewives of Weed County? Or of Kansas City? Or Toledo? Not glamourous I know, but they are unexpected territories that could have some crazy ladies spending their fam's cash like it's nobody's business on crazy things like beef jerkey, tang, John Deer products. 

I don't know if I would watch it, but at least it would be covering a new area that isn't already covered in a reality show cloud. 

Help! They need some money!

My favorite table-flipping Housewife Teresa Guidice is in need of a money making scheme! Last week it was announced that the Guidice Family is $11 million in debt. But how in the world is that possible? Granted, I am not exactly sure what her hubby Joe (my fave househusband) does—something in construction or development maybe—but Teresa has got a best-selling cookbook, a hit tv show (but she only gets $3,000 an episode, thank you Kate Wynne, Sarah and Vinnie) and god knows what else from Bravo.

But here’s another good question, what exactly does Bravo pay for on the show? My mom and I were watching when Teresa threw her 9 year old a birthday party and Gia got an ATV and then went in a pink limo to a kid’s beauty parlor for makeovers. She kept referencing how much this was costing her without giving a dollar amount…maybe the cost of a Bravo paycheck? My bday parties were never like that, although Lady Di thought that she could trick me into thinking that when I was three and my bday landed on the parish carnival weekend. She took advantage of a dumb 3 year old and told me that everyone there was there for me. Year’s later I find out this blatant lie and it has scarred me for life.

Anyways, this loving couple has managed to get $11 million in debt. Kate’s theory is that it has to do with whatever properties they own and I agree! I can only hope that the Guidice’s find their way out without dropping Housewives because that would be so sad if she’s not on it.

Heidi Montag

Well, if you saw the cover of People magazine a couple of months ago, you would have seen that she is "addicted" to plastic surgery. and they mean addicted. 10 surgeries in one day!? I cringe when I watch Real Housewives of Orange County and they are just sharpie-ing their face and then I change the channel when you see their faces all swollen and they can't really talk...even botox makes me antsy. But, anywho! Heidi Montag has "fired" her husband [Spencer] who was her "manager" (I put them both in quotes because, really did Spencer do anything to begin with and what task was he really fired from? Anyways....get this, she has hired a replacement for Spencer, and he is none other than a...psychic. She calls him an "intuitive psychic" and having him on her team (tell me who else is on this team? Besides maybe Spencer and his sister and maybe her sister too!) gives her an edge that no one else has. What does this psychic see in store for dear Heidi? Another hit song? Sorry, nix the hit. Another cat fight played out on TV? Perhaps better ratings for the next season of the Hills? Oh wait, I see how that can happen too, Psychic...Bring back LC!

I cannot wait to see what scheme dear Speidi has instore for us next!

Sudden Cancelations

Saturday my Netflix finally came—sometimes those two day turnovers just take so long. This time I got the first disc of the canceled classic, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, (thank you, Carly for reminding me of it). As I blew through the disc and sealed the envelope so I can send it out tomorrow morning (ASAP), I was thinking about all of the shows that I wish were still on the air but didn’t make it due to their less than stellar ratings and the money-grubbing corporate heads. So, due to lack of inspiration of anything more interesting, here is my list of favorite shows—in no particular order—that were taken from us too soon:

1. Studio 60
2. Arrested Development
3. Samantha Who
4. Pushing Daisies
5. Deal or No Deal—I always wanted to go on this show and I just think Howie Mandel is just funny
6. and just because I wish it was still on the air, The West Wing

(By clicking on the show, you go to my personal favorite site for all things Hollywood--IMDB.com)

Alright, well, it turns out that there weren’t too many but those ones were really some of my favorites. Please, studio heads at the major networks, think about what you have done! At least I can find solace in knowing that there will be an Arrested Development movie coming out!

And to prevent another list like this, please watch:
1. The Office
2. Modern Family
3. Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List
4. Any Real Housewives, but most esp. the Orange County wives
5. Glee

I don’t know if these shows are in any danger but let’s not risk it people.

Oh and by the way 9 days till my birthday!