Calm Down Hollywood!

Dear Kate,

Shut up, Charlie Sheen. Stay home, Christina Aguilera. Stop stealing stuff, Lindsay Lohan. My goodness, what is going on in H-wood these days?

Charlie Sheen is on a rampage! He's the topic of discussion like Mel Gibson was this summer (who by the way is sitting quietly in his mega-mansion, thanking God that it's not him on the cover of the tabloids). He seemed to be ok a couple of weeks ago, now he's just in your face, saying the most rediculous stuff that doesn't even make sense ("I'm on a drug, it's called Charlie Sheen" what the hell does that mean?) and just pissing people off left and right. His publicity team is crumbling under the pressure, his family is just getting the hell out of his way, and the rest of the celebrity community is thanking their stars that it's not them. Unfortunately, admist all of this, Two and a Half Men was still the number one rated show this week. This is going to give Charlie more leverage to claim that he deserves $3 million an episode and be as outrageous as ever. I feel so bad for his family and the crew of Two and a Half Men!

Christina. Christina. Christina. What are you doing? You have a child and are going through a divorce. Your soon-to-be-ex is sitting quietly in his house, and may use this against you for custody! And I'm not afraid to say it, I think your new boyfriend is not a good influence. That's right, I've said it.

And then we go to sticky-hands Lohan. Why not just send an assistant to the store to pay for it before the tabloids got a hold of it? All of this could have been handled and the public wouldn't know a darn thing. I thought you had your "come to Jesus" moment back in July when you were in the slammer for 11 hours. But, alas I was wrong and you were back in court last week and due back next month. Maybe they'll move the trial up north and push it back to September then I could potentially sit on the jury!!! Oh that would be awesome!!

Come on Hollywood. Get your shit tight.

Two Trainwrecks

Lindsay Lohan and Mel Gibson are two of a kind. They won the hearts of many with their movies and then within the past few years...man alive there was no turning back. Let's take a moment to relive their rollercoasters.

Lindsay Lohan: Precious in an all-time classic, The Parent Trap. She won the hearts of millions, and then she picked a fight with fellow tween, Hilary Duff (who I am sure is sitting pretty right about now) over, who else, Aaron Carter (he's so fly he has two A's in his name). Then everything just went downhill. She developed a reputation on set, out late partying all the time, her parents went crazy for the spotlight (her dad's more recent BFF: Jon "I'm a complete Tool" Gossling) and before you knew it she was in and out of rehab and wearing a SCRAM bracelet. Now, this week she was sitting in court and hit with the Judges hand and sentenced to 90 days in jail. Sobbing she says she's been treated unfairly and did everything she was supposed to, but wait, she missed her weekly AA meetings. Oh and to top it all off, she had an inappropriate phrase on her nails, saying it was a joke. I don't think you're laughing now Lindsay.

Mel Gibson: Braveheart. The Patriot (one of my absolute favorites), Pocahontas and made a little film about Jesus. Seemed to be a clutch celeb in the homes of America--I was a fan, especially after he was Benjamin Martin in one of my favorite movies. Then, after a night of drinking, he gets pulled over on PCH and ran his mouth, proving that maybe he was not worthy of his squeaky clean image. Then things just seemed to spiral into a black hole. Divorcing his wife who he had a litter of children with, and then his galpal is pregnant! There was a while when he was out of the spotlight, but helping out his good friend Britney Spears when she was going through a bit of a rough patch. Now that man is back in the headlines, with a bitter custody battle and it was released today that could be guilty of domestic abuse. I don't know if you will be the comeback kid, Mel.