Trying My Luck at the Lotto!

With the lottery up to $640 million, I decided that now was asgood a time as any to try my luck at this game of chance. What could it hurt right? In fact, I see no bad side effects, only a $640 billion positive one.

So today I went to a hole-in-the-wall liquor store that I pass on a daily basis in Redwood City and bought my tickets. Now I know little to nothing about the lottery, so with $11 dollars and guidance from Lady Di (“I just do quick picks”), I walked into the store that will change my life forever (positive thinking--when has that ever been a bad thing?). I decided on $10 of quick picks and 1 “custom” ticket—I’m sure there’s a more precise name for it, but like I said, I know nothing about the lotto. And they weren't kidding with "quick picks" I think I was in there for 2 minutes total, spending 1.75 minutes picking my custom numbers and 15 seconds getting my quick picks. I was cautious to memorize the other faces of the people before and after me, you know, just in case they win the big money.

So with my fresh tickets in hand on my way home, I did think about all the things that $640 million will buy (well more like half when I go for the lump sum and after taxes). Here are my top 5, in no particular order...

1. Find a pilot with the best track record (most likely a former Air Force One Pilot) to be my personal pilot so I can travel. In fact, I might add a ballerific plane to the detail.

2. Invest in some property, although that sounds so boring, but it will help me roll in the dough later on. But I'll pick some sweet places like Maui, the Caribbean, Italy, someplace in California (I need a home base of course).

3. Hire a personal chef who will double as my grocery shopper--this could be perhaps my least favorite activity. Actually, just creating a personal entourage in general is acceptable.

4. Retire at the young age of 25 (I would continue to work for the next six months…just to stay grounded, but as soon as I turn 25, retirement, here I come).

5. Have my own talk show on Bravo, yes Bravo. While I wouldn't be techincally retired, this has been a dream of mine (and Kate's) since the Real Housewives franchise started with the reunion shows. To be honest, I'd be satisfied with doing just the reunion shows - sorry Andy Cohen, Kate and I will take it from here - and that way, I could still be in retirement.

I am not going to be stupid and tell you what numbers I picked, mainly because I don’t particularly want to share my winnings, but I promise I’ll explain my thought process when I’m interviewed for the news. Let's hope the 1 in 172 million odds are in my favor.

#ComeOnBigMoneyBigMoney!

A "Brief" Detour

Now this is a typical Carly/Julie adventure story. And it could have been prevented in so many ways.

On Sunday morning, fresh off our Disneyland high, we were heading north to get back to reality, but with a stop in Pasadena to see Julia's new apartment. She gave us directions from Disneyland (hop on the 57 N to the 210 W) and then we would reconvene and then get brunch. Simple right? WRONG. So Carly's in the driver's seat and we head onto the 57, debreifing the weekend and I didn't think to whip out my phone to look at the map since the directions were so basic. So there we go driving and driving and had a few dialouges sounding like:

25 minutes into the ride:

Carly: My sense of direction is so off, it feels like we're going just east.

Julie: I know, but we are supposed to take the 210 West so this makes sense. Oh look, Chino!

Probably 10 minutes later:

Carly: Oh, Indio, that's where I'm going for Stagecoach next month.

And about 5 minutes later:

Julie: Ontario Airport? That's where we fly into for Palm Springs. That's weird, there must be a smaller airport and then the larger one. That's so dumb, they should have picked another name, that's confusing.

(So I pulled out my phone)

Julie: Hold up. You're going to want to turn around

Carly: Now?

Julie: Yes, immediately.

Well turns out, we were well on ourway to Palm Springs. About 40 miles back, there was a 57 - 60 split and we unknowingly headed to the 60 (we blame being in the carpool lane). And it was probably three minutes after we were heading back in the right direction, that we got a call from Julia asking where the heck we were. Ooops sorry, we were almost in Palm Springs, we're going to be a while.

Yes, this is the route that we took on accident, and it took us about 1.5 hours. Not what we were really hoping for when we had a solid 6 hour drive ahead of us.

So what lessons were learned in this adventure?

1. ALWAYS look at a map

2. Be cautious of the Southern California carpool lanes

3. Southern california needs to think about relabeling some of their signage on their freeway.

#ImalwaysreadyforatriptoPalmSprings

An object at rest will stay at rest...

At approx 10:00 on Saturday night, we decided to wait in line for Autotopia, one of my favorite rides as a kid. Now let me set the stage, we're in our second set of clothes (thanks to our costume change earlier), but we're not completely dry since we went on Splash Mountain (not our smartest idea but it was fun) and when we got in line, you could actually see stars...the first time it wasn't cloudy all day.So we're in line and Julia whips out her phone and tells us that at 10:00 her hourly weather report says that there's supposed to be 100% chance of rain. And since it's clear, we all immediately start bashing Apple's technology...well Steve Jobs was getting us back because not 10 minutes later, as were about ready to tell the cast member that we need three cars, I fet a drop. Then, another, then it was a bonafide downpour.

So, immediately, cries break out for everyone to whip out their ponchos. Carly, Julia and I were trying to get our fresh plastic bags out and fumbling under pressure, while the mass amount of people behind us have already succeeded, and even had their children covered (another clue that I am not ready for children). It's now our turn to hop in our individual cars and the previous passengers are getting out to let us in, and they're soaked, since they're hip and cool convertibles. So I jump in, and start to go the speedy 6.5 miles per hour, holding my steering wheel through the plastic of my poncho...my hands were so cold...and realized that these cars were so much more comfortable as a child. But it could have been worse because others, mainly Carly, had to sit in a huge puddle.

So there we are cruising through the ride, and I approached an "overpass" and the car infront of the car in front of me was broken down so two cast members were trying to jump start the car. One guy was between the two cars and one was off to the side holding a flashlight. So I released my foot on the pedal (since there are no breaks) and stopped.Meanwhile Carly's driving her car (she's behind Julia) and she's not really having it. She's got one hand holding her hood cause mind you it's still raining cats and dogs, and the other peaking out of her sleeve in a claw-like fashion. So back to me, I was stopped waiting for traffic to start a flowing for maybe 15 seconds when I heard a crash! Then felt a bump, then went into the car in front of me.

While these noises were occuring, the cast member who was standing between the two cars heard this as well and talk about a drama queen, flipped out so he wasn't between the two cars and flailed his arms around. Then, the fool holding the flashlight yells out: PEOPLE PLEASE PAY ATTENTION! You could have killed us. I think all three of scoffed in unison. Really sir? A car that goes 6.5 miles per hour with a track between the it can kill someone? I think the most you could walk away with was a stubbed toe! Don't get mad at us since you're standing in the cold rain! Within seconds you could hear Julia laughing and yelling Carly's name, but poor Carly wasn't too impressed. And she was ready to kick this ride to the curb.

As soon as we got off of the ride (and it magically stopped pouring of course) the first thing she told us all she kept thinking was,"Why the *bleep* are we on this? We can drive and we all have our own cars!"

I suppose some people can't find the magic on every ride.

Disneyland Recap

Well I started this blog on Sunday night, but have been fine tuning it all week so here we go...

I just got back from quite a weekend in Disneyland (see, told you I started it a while ago) Starting at the dark and early hour of 4:30 am on Friday morning (notice how I didn't say "bright" seeing as we didn't see the sun for 3 hours), Carly and I loaded up her Volvo and headed south. Seeing as most of the world was still sleeping we didn't hit much traffic and were able to make it to LA by 10 and then walking into the park by 11:36 am. That's right, Highway 5 was our bitch.

Of course we had a plan all set out, hitting Disneyland for the major rides first so when we walked through the gates, I am not sure who was more excited, Carly, me, or the six year old walking in next to us? We actually lasted a lot longer than I thought--but we couldn't go back to the hotel till 4 so we had to power through. Then we headed back to the hotel for "reading and resting" time, an essential element to a Bonino vacation and we opened some Shock Tops to quenche our thirsts. When we were feeling better, we decided to try our luck over at California Adventure. Sidebar: When we were walking in and spotted this guy holding a neon yellow cup with some foam at the top. Immediately Carly and I spotted this and said, "the rumors are true! They do have beer!" Then a second later, we both realized that the guy holding the cup was...Ryan from High School Musical! Now for those of you who aren't all hip and now in the High School Musical world, no this is not Zac Efron, this is the blonde guy. And for those of you wondering, yes, we did blast those CDs on our ride earlier that morning. But to see a disney star IN disneyland that isn't walking around in a plastic costume? What are the odds?! Anywho, we hit some rides in California Adventure (Tower of Terror mostly) went back to Disneyland to round out the day, and before we knew it we were walking zombees...you would be one too if you drove 500 miles at 4:30 in the morning and then walked all over...While we were just about to start dreaming of sugar plumbs, Julia (who drove down from Pasadena) met us so she could spend all day with us on Saturday.

Now the forecast warned us for rain, but we didn't know the extent of it. We thought it would be "Southern California Rain" which to us meant a light drizzle...but holy dounpour Batman, this was a legitimate rainstorm. So we prepared ourselves with Bloody Mary with breakfast (and to keep us warm) and had to come to turns with our ensambles and bought ponchos. That's right we were walking around in plastic bags for most of Saturday. I like to think we were fashion-forward. And no, we didn't look like fools because all of the smart people were decked out in them. And another sidebar: Who would have thought the rain would be painful? While we were on California Screaming, a nice rainfall combined with a super fast roller coaster felt like daggers hitting my face. My screams were a combination of terror (duh) and pain (ouchies). And getting back on track, Although we were walking onto ride after ride in the downpours mixed with drizzles and sprinkles, we eventually did have to call uncle and head back to the hotel for, you guessed it, reading and resting time. This was the perfect opportunity to dry off, ring out our clothes, and to bask in the glow of shelter.

When we headed back to the park that night, it was SO empty it was almost eerie. We kept walking onto rides, even got to stay on Splash Mountain without even leaving the seats since there was no one in line...when was the last time that happened? Never that's when. We were able to go back to California Adventure for the World of Color (blog post coming next) and then back to round out the night at Disneyland. And eventually, at 11:30 our dogs were barking and we had to head home, back to the Tropicana.

I tried to use a pedometer for Saturday on my phone but the App wasn't working, but I googled the average daily milage walked at Disneyland and some people said between 10-17 miles. I wouldn't be surprised if we were close to 17 (since we did go between the parks a couple of times and back to the hotel). Essentially we were ballers.

On Sunday, we packed up and headed north, with a detour, but that's another story for another blog post that's coming.

#whatareyoudoingyoushouldgotoDisneylandnow

Gyms can be dangerous

No one ever tells you about the life-threatening potential hazards of the gym. I’m not talking about the bullshit of twisting ankles, being crushed to death by a weight or falling over from exhaustion. I’m talking about the explosion hazards, a predicament I found myself in just last night.

Let me set the stage…Thursday night I was 20 minutes into my usual kickboxing class. I was at that point of my workout when I’ve passed the optimistic “Oh I am so pumped for this class” and sailing into the “I could die right here right now" (quick turnover time). So there I was, jab, jab, punch, knee, side kicking away and then a very potent, gassy smell hit my nose. Well that’s not normal, was my first thought, but I took a quick survey of the room and no one else was responding to it. So back to my jab, jab, punching when I heard the woman behind me ask the woman next to her if she smelled it and so naturally I whipped around and asked them myself (no need to be embarrassed about evesdropping). Then they both just passed it off, so I pulled myself together and got back to the jab, jab, punching when I noticed the instructor looking around the huge stereo at the front, sniffing. No luck there, then she looked up at the huge heater/air conditioner that hangs from the middle of the room, and nothing there either.

Internally, I was thinking, oh crap. Here it goes. No need to wait for December to see if the Myans were right. I should have listened to myself and opted out of class tonight. Death by gym class just seemed too obnoxious. In the midst of my personal conversation I spotted a woman who worked at the front desk dodging side kicks and jabs, and say that we all needed to get out and….well that’s all I heard. I swooped up my jacket, water bottle and keys and ran out the door. No need for pleasantries to let others go in front…every man for themselves in this situation and I wasn’t going to get blown up to smitherines in the gym because I let the older people pass.

Everyone started to congregate outside in front of the gym, and right by the door, which I thought was just dumb. Hello people! Move a little further away from the doors. In the event of an explosion, you’ll all get wiped out. It took a little longer than expected to get everyone out of the gym. You’d think that they have a system, like turn off all the tvs and make an announcement over the loud speaker, but instead the workers were trying to get everyone’s attention and tell them they needed to evacuate (mind you this time, I’m already outside, continually making the distance between me and the front door greater and greater).

Well, I stood there for about five minutes and then realized, this was a dumb plan. By the time they decided if it was safe to go back in, or if the fire fighters were the ones to decide that, we could be here a while. So really me standing here isn’t really doing much, and I should just call it a night.

At Crunch, there’s only a one lane entrance on one side of the building and then a one lane exit one the other side (and there’s also a Chinese food restaurant that’s attached to the gym—cruel, I know). So naturally, there’s a small traffic jam trying to get out. As much as I didn’t want to, I was just flirting with disaster. One spark and warren (my car) and I would have done some barrel rolls over Veterans Blvd and land in the parking lot of AAA.

Luckily, nothing happened, and I was able to drive away from Crunch in one piece. Phew. But I will keep my distance until I know it's been inspected and given the a-ok from the proper authorities.

#Iwillknockyouoverifyoublocktheexitinapotentialexplosion

#andifidiethenillcomebackandhauntyourass